how can u be prego again
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize