The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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