soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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