I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drink are we having for lunch?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize