You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize