She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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