I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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