I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
third nipple confirmed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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