dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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