i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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