he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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