Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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