even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
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just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize