Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just puked most of my soul out..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize