did you get engaged???
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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