remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize