He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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