Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize