Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize