We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize