She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize