I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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