we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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