I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
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EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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