he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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