i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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