She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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