On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize