I want to make a zoo with you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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