So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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