what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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