I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize