we're blogging at a bar
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
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I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
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Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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