dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize