And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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