dude i'm inner monologue high
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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