a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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