Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize