Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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