I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize