I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize