I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize