He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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