So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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