The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You smell like stripper and shame
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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