the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize