I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize