I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just high enough for therapy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize