First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My balls are so social today.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize