why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
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It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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